Neither Confirmed nor Denied: MFA 2015
April 2 – May 10, 2015
I have a sinking suspicion that this was all for nothing. That when I reached down into the riverbed and after all the soot and soil washes away from my hands I will be left with nothing except the slowly dissipating cold. As we fall forward into our own destructive death destinies we wash away our past, we shed our former selves for a seemingly more advanced but perpetually more fragile self. I saw myself in the mirror the other day. My eyes were as red as blood and my hands were seemingly not my own. I find that as I make more and more distance I am left with that same chill. Is this me anymore and are we a we anymore? This repeated call that echoes back from the canyons reveals nothing. A loop is a loop is a loop. The cycle is only proven to be anything upon its entrance and exit. You are born and then you die, repeat until someone climaxes. I want to propose a simultaneous syncing with the revolutions while also taking a step back, outside of this repetition. Perpetuate and play, that is the answer. I once spun a merry-go-round as fast as I could with my hands. Difference disappeared into a blur of color and then, as if I believed in every action movie I ever saw, I dove forward into the ride. The merry-go-round dug deep into my skin relieving me of a generous amount of deep red and leaving a mark that persists to this day. A system that was at one point a blurry meaningless nothing gave me a poignant pause in my life. The only thing I will ever acknowledge is an entrance/ exit.